Tuesday 29-11-11

- went to the pools with a friend...Little Mr freaked out being taken to the deep part, but eventually got him over it and he was jumping in and kicking and having fun
- little brother did give me some money plus a "little bit" more...checked my account and it was double what i originally asked for
- Oh and i forgot yesterday, but Austswim exam is all done and passed easily...now just prac to do and CPR

Mon 28-11-11

- Picked up little miss's tap shoes finally (only $15)
- Preschool graduation tonight - so proud of my big little miss....and she did such a great job with the dances they did
- Had to ask brother to borrow some money to help me out coz im up the creek so he is going to help me :)

Sunday 27-11-11

- Austswim day 2...much better day (lady knew what she was doing)
- Loved being asked by others for help and suggestions and stuff and teacher was happy to let me answer/help people
- Pretty much got offered another job at another pool by the lady running it...so thats a choice of 3 pools...(so if i move back near mums and the one their does close over winter it gives me another option over there for the winter)

Saturday 26-11-11

- Austswim course begins today...miss it more than i thought...glad to be doing it again
- OK so it was actually boring and I could have done a better job than the guy...oh wait i sort of did....kept putting my 2 bob in to help make it clearer and give them tips etc....but i felt good and a bit more confident knowing i remembered/knew so much stuff...lol
- Loved being back in the pool

Friday 25-11-11

- Christmas "fun" photo shoot today
- LOOOVED the preview pictures...they look awesome
- Old phone seems to be working....just have to get all my stuff off it now

Thursday 24-11-11

ok so the next few days are catch up posts again, but that much has happened im going to back track them individually
- so after yesterdays phone drowning i got myself my new phone today..HTC vs iphone...HTC won...free on my current plan so I have a fancy new phone, without spending any money
- changed my plan to the "big" plan so i actually get twice as many calls for the same price
- councelling session was good, and we decided im getting to the point where we are nearly at the end...down to monthly sessions now with an assessment at easter to see if things are ok and if i still need to continue

Phones don't swim...

Oops dropped my phone in the bath tonight...bugger...now its sitting in rice trying to dry out
so 3 good points
- feel heaps better than yesterday
- license renewed and cost nothing (hooray for pension.....i tell ya what it makes life a lot easier when you dont have the money for those things to have them covered)
- spent some nice time with little miss today too :)

Yuck

So not quite sure what is so positive about today....tummy bug made me feel like crap...friend had to take little miss to preschool and I had to sleep half the day while little mr played, so no cleaning, no shopping, no spending time with little man and gah no license renewal which was due today...oops

Another week begins

- Kids got to say goodbye to our next door neighbour this morning when he came back to pick up the last thing coz we didn't get home in time to say goodbye before they finished moving yesterday, so they were happy
- Cooper made another day with no accidents :)
- Just had a nice relaxing day with the kids

Catch up

Ok so as I stayed at mums Thursday night, didnt turn comp on by time i got back friday night and was to tired to be bothered with the computer last night I must play catch up today so over the last 4 days I need 12 things...which is kind of a good things coz the last couple of days good things have kinda flowed and progressed over a few days anyways
- My glasses have been broken for ages and I went to see the optometrist and my prescription hasn't changed so I don't need new glasses and a replacement arm should only cost me $30 so yay
- I could also buy myself a pair of new ones at no cost due to the vision care scheme for pensioners (not that i liked any of the frames but at least if i cold afford frames the lenses would be covered mostly (unless i want anti-reflection coating...lol)
- Bad news is Little Miss 5 needs glasses too :( but the good news is i went searching around on saturday and found some really nice ones she loves and they look good, that are also covered by the vision care scheme...so not at my optometrist, but i can just get the prescrition from him and get them from there ($150 pair of glasses for $0)
-Thursday I went and spoke to the leisure centre across the road..once ive done my course i pretty much have a job there
- Also went for a visit to my old work and If i move back there i have a job back there too
- Booked in for the course for next weekend :)
:) halfway there...6 down, 6 to go :)
- Little Mr made it through the whole day saturday with his undies on and no accidents (nearly made it through Sunday but not quite) but he is starting to tell me or make an obvious sign now
- Had a good time hanging out with friends Saturday night
- Had a good day swimming at the pools today with other friends
-  Done lots of calculations and worked out all the figures for going back to work and just 10 hours will start to put me back on track :)
-Big load off my mind and a new exciting time to look forward to
- And finally just finally glad things are starting to look up...hopefully they continue to go that way, but its good to have finally made some steps in a positive direction...yay
woohoo i did it...see i told you its been a productive few days with things developing nicely :)

Improvement

- Yay they went to bed much better tonight...no problems...just stood my grounbd said i wasntcoming back and talking and they got the picture
- Got her Jazz shoes and found allthe socks and undies for a couple of bucks each
- Had a good day just me and little miss...went to the park and had some lunch and a play together and a giggle and was lovely :)

Into Week 2

My titles are really boring...lol
I almost managed a whole week of positives....*sigh*
Well today we have a slightly better day with the kids, but i have felt so drained and I wasnt feeling too crash hot either...i was fine while i was sitting/laying down...it was when i got up and walked around.
Also had a few issues with Mr 2 1/2s toilet training...frustrating...If i dont remind him he wont take himself (unless its bedtime, then he will go 3 times before he settles...grrr)...Doesnt help that his father had him in nappies for what im guessing is a fair chunk of weekend seeing as only the pair of undies he went in and one more appeared used...the rest still away in the pocket (which he never puts them back in there)..Just makes things harder for me...oh the joys
But here are todays 3 good things
- Miss woke up in a much better mood and apologised and told em she loved me and loved living here with me
- Got Mr's bed moved back into his room so they werent in together
- kids went to sleep a bit better tonight...Mr didnt take too long and missy got the picture pretty quickly, even though she wasnt impressed

day 7

what a crap night...i felt like shit...the kids wouldnt go to sleep...arguements with miss 5 and i really felt like i just couldnt handle them anymore and that i was a bad mum....but had a ew chats with the girls and a cry and im feeling a little better but so exhausted i just gonna go to sleep so im gonna be realy naughty and skip my 3 things, coz im having troubke tonight after all that :( ill try and make up for ti tomorrow

Day 6

Not much happened today
- Got to sleep in
- Found some jazz shoes for the price i need them at and got some leads on some tap shoes at a cheap price too
- Kids went to bed just fine tonight, thankfully...Put Little Mr down at 7:30 and Little Miss down at 8 and only heard from her once to go to the toilet about 10 :)

Day 5

Awesometastic day today...so i got no housework or anything useful done, but I spent some time on ME!!! and that's important too...So easy to find my 3 things today, hard bit is restricting it to 3...lol
- My baby brother took me Horse riding today...Something I have been wanting to do for ages. The first time I got on one was just awesome, but I haven't been on one since I was about 14 and I have sooo wanted to....So for my birthday he took me along for a 2 hour trail ride....Was just fantastic...I had an good horse, she was so much like me though...lol...It didnt take me long once i was up in that saddle to get used to it again and get comfortable though...we got to trot and canter too....only prob is...now i wanna do it all again
- Had a lovely lunch and walk along the beach with my bro too
- Just feeling really relaxed and happy and had an awesome day all round and I just feel good...

Day 4

ok so I'm struggling today to come up with my 3 things...not because it's been a bad day, but just because nothing major has happened, so I've gotta look for the little things today
- Kids played well together for most of the day
- Went to their dads this arvo for the weekend, so I got a bit of a break at bedtime. I do love them, but they have been driving me up the wall...was nice to have some peace and quiet
- Got a little bit of cleanign/sorting/tidying done (actually it looks like ive just made more piles of stuff really....lol...but thats ok ill come back and finish it over the next 2 days...hopefully...lol)

Day 3

Not such a good day, just from the fact of feeling flat and struggling to get things done, but still at the same time i guess if i look for it i can see little tiny progress so you just have to focus on that, even though so much is trying to frustrate you and get you down
Todays good things are small things, but its an advance
- Elyce had her second orientation at big school...she so loves it and is so ready to go
- Went back to band after 6 weeks off, good to be back (still lots to think about commitment wise, but we can leave that for another day and just take it bit by bit for now). Enjoyed just being able to play again tonight
- Got some dishes done and rubbish cleaned out and clothes sorted (not much i know, but its some small progress and a bit more than what i have managed to do the last 2 weeks)...still a lot to tackle, but its definetely a start

Day 2

Todays 3 things
- Elyce made her first full sentence with the make-a-word blocks "I plad gamz wis cler end mey" translated "I played games with Claire and me"
and she wrote a letter to Miss Kelly...
"To Mis Kely
I c an ti mi shoo las
From Elyce"
- Had lovely cuddles with baby Hannah today
- Officially enrolled Elyce in big school...all the forms

3 things for Day 1 :)

So its Technically Tuesday and my 3 things are
- The bank called and good news is I have been granted hardship on my credit card for 3 months. This means it is frozen and no charges or interest is applied until 8th Feb 2012. So i have 3 months to pay off as much of it as I can and get my debt reduced with no extra charges added.
- (Although it was 10:30pm and she was supposed to be asleep) Miss 5came out to me very excited tonight with her brothers Laddie doll to show me she could tie his shoelace :) She was so pleased with herself that she could finally do it and her mummy was very proud too.
- I served an almost proper dinner (pasta bake, but with no meat just vegetables) and both children ate it, including vegies

Energy levels: low
Productivity: low
Time spent with children: some but still not as much as I should have
Sleep: little bit of trouble, but not as bad as last night...Not 100% sure how long but less than 2 hours to both be fully out from when I started reading with the little man

Introduction

I'm a single mum to 2 kids Little Miss 5 and Little Mr 2 1/2. I just turned 29 2 weeks ago.
It has now been just a few days over 12 months since their father and I separated and I can legally lodge the divorce papers now. However due to him residing under the same roof for another 2 1/2 weeks after the separation its easier to lodge them after the move out date which was the 22nd so I can lodge them after the 23rd.
The last 2 1/2 years has been a huge rollercoatser ride for me. When Little Mr 2 1/2 was 6 weeks old our house was set on fire and this in turn brought to the forefront all the problems in our marriage along with depression/anxiety/stress issues.
Being a single mum has been tough and finances are the biggest problem at the moment, causing a lot of stress here, which in turn is affecting my moods and my interaction with the kids.
The original aim of this diary/blog is a gratitude diary. Every day I need to find 3 things to be grateful for/happy about. I know that there will be a lot of other stuff happening too which i might like to get off my chest, so it will be a mixture of everything...however no matter how bad my day has been i MUST include those 3 things to be grateful for/happy about/thankful for.
In less than 12 months I will be 30 and looking back over my 20s I see a lot of decisions I could have made differently and a lot of pain and "piles of shit". So I am hoping that my 30s will be a much better time and i now have less than 12 months to do all the things i need to do in order to ensure that by the time i reach 30 my life is different and I can get on and enjoy my 30s. So here goes my journey, as tedious and uninteresting as it may be...